Question #102 from "The Book of Questions" by Gregory Stock, PH.D.
How close and warm is your family?
Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's??
Explain.
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10 comments:
While my family is spread out all over, and we have moved our separate ways since we were kids, I think my brothers and I close - at least as close as can be expected. I am not as close to a couple of my brothers as I would like to be, but I suspect that is part of growing older and having day-to-day "life business" to keep us all occupied.
As for my childhood - it was great. My parents gave us a loving atmosphere, with enough freedom to find our own ways, but with enough support to know we were not alone. No major disfunctions or emotional damage.
My family is scattered now and not what I would call close or warm. Out of the 4 siblings .... I am in Texas (23 years now) ... my sister is in Australia (22 years now) ... my brother is in our hometown ... and my other brother died 11 years ago of cancer.
We kept in touch through Mom, but since Mom died in 2002 , the internet is our connection.
Happy Childhood? I don't know ... I think it was about average. I know I suffered a lot of angst ... but I was the overwieght kid who everyone picked on .... and I was smart ... another reason to pick on me ....BUT ... I have read about and heard about MUCH worse things young children go through ... compared to them, I had a plush childhood.
This is a toughie. I think our family is close. Most of the time we're "there" for eachother's main events: births, deaths, moves. WE do support, comfort, and celebrate with eachother. WE do have some issues: I talk to my bother and sister, but my brother and sister do not talk.
My childhood with my brother and sister was good. Since we moved constantly, we had to be friends and supporters. Inside our house my mom (since Dad was away lots) gave us love and support and taught us to love and support eachother. With some bumps and bruises I had a good childhood with no major crises.
My family was never close at all except for my Sister and I. She died March 13, 2003.
I am the last member of our entire family living. The family name died with my Uncle Jack who died in 1985.
I had two cousins (girls) and they had children, but my sister and I did not have any children. Very small family and a family of all girls.
My childhood was an unusual one as I lived in an alcoholic atmosphere or at times with a grandmother who did not want the burden of raising grandchildren. Sure do not blame her any at all.
I quess it could have been a lot worse.
My Sis and I have had a lot of therapy. We more or less "raised" ourselves, worked, went to College and had fairly "normal" lives. :)
Good morning!
I have the traditional crazy, chaotic, wacky, mostly loving, sometimes warring American-Catholic-Irish tribe. The older we get the more we find the warmth of our family. I believe my childhood was happier than others, but maybe it is because I've faced the terrors and hurts of my past, forgiven those who have hurt me and moved on. But truly, my childhood and childhood home possessed the storybook qualities I now see in movies. It was not a simpler time, but my parents kept it one. For this, I am grateful
I am not close to my family. They were and are messed up a bit. I've forgiven them, but that doesn't mean I want to hang out with them My wife's family is My family and has been for years. Yes, they are a bit dysfunctional, but I love them and they love me.
My family is close but not really that warm. My dad is really the only family member I have that I feel like I can even talk to.
As for my childhood it was probably better than most. We ate our meals together, watched TV at night together, went to ballgames, family vacations, and never missed a church service.
Now? We are not close at all. While my Mom was alive, we were. And after she passed away, I became the "glue" that held that family together. But when I got sick, no one else seemed to pick up that torch. Then divorces started happening with my brothers and moves,etc. We would get together with my Dad for Occassions but since he's passed away, I never see my brothers and it's sad.
My childhood, for the most part, was happy. My Dad worked a lot. He was born in 1923 and his family was not rich and they never had a Christmas Tree so he "over compensated" by thinking he had to buy a lot and live the "good life". But that meant we didn't often see him. And when he was home on the weekends, he was exhausted from working so hard during the week. But I do remember very good times, sitting around the dinner table, telling jokes, taking family trips. Our house was also known as "The Club House" My Mom felt it was always better to keep our house open to our friends. That way she always knew where we were and who we were hanging out with. Clever woman, my Mom! And everyone loved my Mom! (We'd have parties and everyone would be upstairs sitting around the big old pine table chatting with her! LOL) My Dad used to joke around saying when he came home at night, he'd never know if he had 4 kids or 8! LOL Life was good until he went through his mid life crisis and decided he wanted someone younger! But we were pretty much grown by then. All except my younger brother who still bears the "scars" today, I think. ah well, life goes on!
Can we say I watch Mommie Dearest on Mothers Day and have flashbacks? Seriously! I finally had to sever all contact just to find a safe non-toxic place. Letting go of that relationship was the most healthy thing I have probably ever done.
My father who my mother divorced when I was a baby, was a sweet man who couldn't stand up to her. He died about 10 yrs ago.
I've reconnected with one of my 1/2 sisters (she's 14 yrs older than me) and her family and that is pretty terrific. My other 1/2 sister (21 yrs older than me) i've never met but she is so damaged by growing up with my mother that she can't handle a relationship with either my other sister or myself or with her own daughter.
Family is the most important thing in the world to me. I did not come by this feeling from personal experience,but there are people in this world who touched my life in a positive way and helped me learn how to create a happy and loving family of my own.
In the process I learned to accept the behaviors of members of my birth family and eventually develop a long and caring friendship with my oldest brother and his family...
A treasure indeed...
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