From "The Book of Questions" by Gregory Stock, PH.D.
Q #6
You discover you wonderful one-year-old child is, because of a mix-up at the hospital, NOT YOURS. Would you want to exchange the child to try to correct the mistake?
Please explain your answer.
9 comments:
Yes I probably would because, I would not want my actual child and the child I have growing up and feeling that they were adopted or somehow not part of the family despite the loving home I would provide them. Also, while very young and in the formative years, the child would get used to their actual parents and forget me and vice versa.
Welllll .... having been a mother on a 1-yr-old .... about 17 years ago .... This is a very tough question.
One year olds can talk and can say Mama and Dada ... and they recognize you as being their Mama or Dada ... and their face lights up when they see you. And if you have been good parents ... you absolutely LOVE this child as your own.
But then ... where is your birth child?? Does he or she have good people taking care of him or her?? What a mess this would be.
This question often brought in very heartfelt responses from my students when I would ask it in the classroom. Most of them wanted to get BOTH babies!! Or at least develop a very close relationship with the people who have their real child.
This was always an intersting question to ask and discuss.
Yes, it is hard because I can see a mulitude of sides to this issue and as a result, many potential problems that would arise.
I just hope I do not have to face such a situation.
I would compare and contract the 2 kids - with extensive IQ & physical ability testing - and pick the best one.
That's a tough one. For nine months I would have carried and known a child under my heart. My body would have nurtured and fed him/her, and allowed her to draw life from me. That's an awesome gift. However, for one year I have known, charished, and given myself to this child as his mother...fed him/her from my body. That's also an awesome experience. However, another mother would be doing the same for a child. The bonds built in those months are the most important of life.
I cannot say I would break the bonds built in that all important year. I don't know that I could do that to "my" child or the one in my care. I guess the best compormise would be to move near to the other family...next door(?) to participate as much as possible in his/her life and to allow the other mother to do the same with the child in my care.
Totsie - great to see you back on the blog. Hope all is very well with you. We missed you.
Totsie - great to see you back on the blog. Hope all is very well with you. We missed you.
PEF - Can you be any more confusing? Your "Yes I would," and then" I would not want" has me baffled as to what you are trying to say in the first few sentences.
Nice to see you back totsie (tootsie in my book).
Sometimes you all come up with the strangest questions, so I'll come up with an equally strange answer.
I would call or contact the other family and ask them if they wanted another kid. I'll let you all figure out where that kid would come from?
Ann Landers was asked the same question. She said the most important thing is who raised the kid. I have an even simpler solution - for those who find themselves in this situation, go live in a village and tell the kid not to date the other familys' kid.
Being an adopted child, I would say KEEP the one you have and love it as your own, becuase in the long run, it is the "Living" with an individual and not the genes that is what is so special about raising a child....
Post a Comment