From: The KIDS' Book of Questions by Gregory Stock PH.D.
If you liked someone who later turned out to be a liar, would you still want to be good friends?
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Just things I wonder about ... and some people are nice enough to answer. You are welcome to answer, too ... just click on "Comments" and off you go! IF you don't want to be Anonymous, use the Name/URL option and just put in your name ... no URL required .... Starting Jan 28th, 2009, I am using questions from "Table Topics: Right or Wrong?"
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11 comments:
The awful truth is that everybody lies at some time in their lives - some lies are huge, while others are little.
So, whether I will still be friends with the person who lies depends on the circumstances and the lie. Each situation is different and must not be taken out of context.
No. This happened to me just recently. Someone who said she was my friend, did not support me. She wanted to get laid on a day when I really needed her. She told me she had an eye infection, and could not come to me. I believed her and later found out she lied. She went out of town to see a guy who has no interest in her. She also made jusgements to others about my faith. I didn't and won't make an issue of it, but I don't think I can forgive her for this poor judgement.
Isn't it interesting that while some folks will lie pathologically or out of spite, most of us when it comes right down to lie because we are embarrased to tell the truth or we don't want to hurt someone we care about or love. Once the lie is discovered by the one we love, and it usually is, they feel betrayed and trust is lost. In the end there are only two things that matter:
1. The truth will set you free
2. We need to forgive ourselves and we need to forgive others
We are human after all
Yes ... all of us lie ... but some peoples' whole lives are built on lies ... I know several people who I guess would be called pathological liars and I really cannot stand being around them. Not a single word that comes out of their mouth is true ... and it seems to me to be a huge waste of time trying to converse with them.
On the other hand, they are kinda fun to trip up ... catch them in the lie ... but that takes so much negative energy.
It kind of depends.
There are different types of lies. 1)There are "white lies" to keep from hurting someone's feelings as in "Do these jeans make my butt look huge?" "Nooo." Because you know that person couldn't handle it. 2)Then there there are flat out lies to hurt someone or cover ones's own butt (figuratively speaking) 3)Some people are just patholigical liars. They lie for no reason, and worse, they believe their lies. I couldn't be good friends with types 2 and 3. And with regard to Type 1, If they were a good friend, I would want them to tell me if my butt looked big in my jeans...but that's just me! LOL (And even a chronic "white liar" needs to take a break once in a while and deal with reality!)
And of course, this only refers to "friendship", I'm assuming. When lovers or spouses come into play, I think we enter a different ballgame.
Sometimes good frieds lie to us because they are lieing to themselves also. I'm sure you all have seen this behavior...
But no, if the lieing is pathological or hurtful in anyway, as they say in Monty Python, "Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away!"
YEARS AGO IT PROBABLY WOULDNT MAKE
MUCH DIFF. NOW WHEN THE END OF THE ROAD IS IN SIGHT "TA' 'ELL WITH EM'
STILL NO ONE CAN HELP WINE FAIRIE
OUT WITH "PIXXAS" ????????????
GUMDROP ADD-ON:
THANKS CIN,GUESS I'LL HAVE TO READ
'YESTERDAY' BEFORE I ASK TWICE. IT
MAKES SENSE BUT WE WILL NEVER KNOW
FOR SURE TILL THE MISCREANT TELLS
ALL FOR CERTAIN.
I always give a person one chance especially if I value the friendship. But you know what they say "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me". I have had it happen. I still talk to them, they just cease to be one of my confidantes and I don't go out of my way to check up on them or care about them.
define the degree of dishonesty and lack of integrity. Does it jeopardize my health? My loved one's health? That friend's health and life? Is it a knee jerk response to an inferiority complex? Many questions would have to be answered before I could answer this.
No gumdrop...I haven't seen it...sigh
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